It seems like Paramount is really on a roll. After the disaster that is Sonic the Hedgehog, they have Crawl. Another disappointment of a movie. This is worse in some ways. This is from Alexandre Aja and Sam Raimi, so you expect something better than a below par horror movie.
Giving too much away
You get to see the alligators too much and they tell how to deal with them in the trailer! Why would you do that? Why give out this much information? You basically know how the movie is gonna be, and what happens just by watching the trailer!
The movie itself
The movie itself isn’t any better. Bland cinematography and hardly any good scares make this a forgettable movie. That’s the last thing you want to say when you think of a Sam Raimi or Alexandre Aja movie. None of the characters stand out and none of the moments stand out. This seems worse than a bad movie, it’s a forgettable movie.
One never knows about a movie based on a trailer. Some movies have turned out to be a lot better than their trailer lead them onto be. However, the Crawl trailer is basically mapping the movie out for us. Leaving us no surprises and exposes the movie’s gaping flaws, (medicore characters, bpand direction and no stand out scares). This is not a good sign for a studio that needs a hit. Sonic is getting bombarded, and the Crawl is getting mixed reactions already. Maybe Paramount needs to stay away from animals. Let National Geographic handle them, they make animals more exciting ans fun!
Score: 1 star. A forgettable bland experience of a trailer that gives the audience too much information.
Link to trailer: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H6MLJG0RdDE
Back in the 90s, Sega and Nintendo ruled video games. Until Sega made some bad moves and quit making hardware after the Dreamcast didn’t sell. Everyone thought Sega would be the dominate third party after they quit making consoles to focus on making games as a third party publisher. It didn’t happen and in Sega’s new financial report. They saw a dip in revenue, which isn’t good. What can Sega do to recover and be a powerhouse again.
Focus On Your Popular IPs
Not just Sonic either. Sonic Mania was a huge success for Sega. It was Sonic returning to his roots as a 2D side scroller and it worked to perfection. Huge sales and great critical acclaim followed. That’s great, but you need more than one game to help your company. Why not do a new Phantasy Star? Not just online either. Single player JRPGs sell great as well. Take Persona 5, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 and Octopath Travler for example. Don’t think that Phantasy Star always needs to be an MMO. Single player JRPGs do sell.
Let’s not forget Virtual Fighter. Why not make a new Virtual Fighter? That series was awesome. Panser Dragoon, Jet Set Radio, Gunstar Heroes and Virtual Racing! Sega, you have a plethora of gems for franchises. Don’t waste your time focusing on mafia games all the time!
Embrace the Nintendo Switch
It’s ok to make games for the Playstation 4 and X Box One, but the Nintendo Switch is on fire, especially in Japan. Hey Sega, you are a Japanese company and it would be unwise to focus on the PS4 so much, when the Nintendo Switch is dominating Japan right now. Look at Namco and Square. They have benefited from making a lot of games for the Switch. Take the hint Sega, and look at how well Sonic Mania Plus and Puyo Puyo, Tetris have done on the Switch. Take the hint Sega and lastly, put Persona 5 on the Switch. Not a half baked Dynasty Warrior clone, but the actual game. The Switch has a portable aspect and that makes it so appealing to play big games like Persona 5. You are leaving money on the table Sega. Don’t do that, it’s bad business.
Manage Your IPs
Stop making 3D Sonic games that everyone us split on. Stop making Phantasy Star an MMO only and make sure your big IPs release with a steller game each time. That will build up consumer confidence and trust.
Let people know about your games. Advertise the games to let gamers know about them. It’s what helped ylu Sega compete with Nintendo back in the day. Your aggressive marketing. Let gamers know Sega is back and they brought some great games for them to play.
I want go see Sega make a big comeback. I grew up on them and I love a lot of their games. Oh, don’t forget Super Monkey Ball either. With games like that Sega, you can make a roaring comeback and be the huge 3rd party publisher everyone predicted you to be. Bring back your old classics, embrace the Nintendo Switch and Market your games. If you do this, you will be one of the top third party publishers in the industry. Come on Sega, you can do this!
Growing up I was a Nintendo girl, (still am), but darn it I loved playing the Genesis as well as the Super Nintendo. I loved Streets of Rage, Thunderforce, Phantasy Star, and my favorite Sega game, Sonic The Hedgehog. Especially the second Sonic. I loved Sonic so much! He was cute, had an attitude and was fast! Sonic was so big back then, he helped Sega compete with Nintendo. He was their mascot and he sold systems for them. I have Sonic Mania Plus for my Switch. It’s so good. I still love Sonic, so when I heard a movie was in production, I was horrified. Video game movies usually suck, but after seeing the brilliant trailers for Detective Pikachu, my hopes raised for this movie. Then I saw the leaked images online and my heart sank. I knew this was gonna be a disaster.
Anyway, to the trailer. So many Sonic fans have been comping at the bit to see this trailer and Paramount finally put the trailer up. How is it? Sigh! Let’s do the review and find out.
One good thing is the sound of the rings. As least they got that right. Then the trouble starts. The trailer actually starts.
Here we go. First off, why is Sonic’s fur electric? What happened? Did the real Sonic make love to a female Pikachu and this was the Frankenstein”s monster results? Sonic doesn’t give off electricity when he runs! To the people who made this movie, have you played any of the video games? Apparently not.
Next up is how Sonic looks. That face! That doesn’t look like Sonic, he looks like what would happen to the real Sonic if he smoked down a case of meth without exhaling! He doesn’t look appealing at all! He looks like he will give kids nightmares, not make them want to buy a stuffed animal of him.
Then they play the classic rap song Gangsta’s Paradise, because why not? Oh, Sonic is gangsta! We get it now. Hoi! Hoi! Hoi! Hoi! Hoi! It makes sense now! (Sarcasm).
It is good to see Jim Carrey, but he doesn’t act as zany at first. He doesn’t even look like Robotnik. Who isn’t an actual robot! In the trailer, Robotnik makes the robot sound while turning his head. He’s a mad scientist! Not a robot! Were the people who made this movie high on crack while making it? Detective Pikachu shows the RIGHT WAY to do a video game movie. This is the opposite. Shame on Jim Carrey for taking this part. He read the script and knew what kind of a track wreck this would be. I can’t let Jim off the hook, he’s in this abomination of a horrible movie and needs to be held accountable.
The comedy is so lame. In the scene were the Barney Fife wanna be finally tracks down Sonic, Sonic goes, “Uh meow.” OK, this makes no sense. Sonic is an alien in the movie, so how does he know earth cats meow? Do they have cats on his planet as well? Why not do this, the cop bust into this place, he sees Sonic and Sonic goes, “Hey, glad you came by. I need a ride into town. I gotta clean my shoes.” The officer freaks out and shoots him with a tranquilizer dart. That’s funny! Second comedy failure is when the cop and his wife try to sneak Sonic into a building and Sonic says something, I don’t care, I fogot what he says. Anyway, two people ask the cop if that’s his kid. Barney Fife says, “it’s a kid, but not his.” The two strangers walk away and that’s it. In reality, here’s what would’ve happened. After the cop says the kid isn’t his. He would be face down on the pavement. Why not? That would’ve been hilarious. Let the people open the bag and let Sonic scare them. That would’ve been funny, but that requires thinking about good jokes, which obviously didn’t happen here.
Oh, for all you easter egg watchers, did you see the ‘subtle’ nod to the fact that Sonic started on the Sega Genesis? Every hero has a Genesis. Oh my gosh dey madze a funny! Movie saved! I can’t stop laughing. How long did it take to think of that academy award winning line! Har! Har! Har! Barf!
Nothing I’ve seen so far is remotely good. Jim Carrey is boring, Sonic looks like a creature feature reject and the comedy is pathetically lame. This is so bad, it makes me miss the Super Mario movie. Yes, that one. This is that bad. Thanos, please come back and snap this movie out of existence! You’ll be doing a great service to the universe.
Grade- 0 stars! Beyond horrible. Wash this trailer from my mind now!!! Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go play Sonic Mania Plus on my Switch to see the REAL Sonic the Hedgehog. Just save your money for Detective Pikachu.